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someday i'll fly, someday i'll soar... someday i'll be so damned much more... - for the record... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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someday i'll fly, someday i'll soar... someday i'll be so damned much more... [Mar. 31st, 2010|02:11 am]
sometimes it feels like having a half functioning brain is the biggest impediment to my happienss... am i just overthinking it? overfeeling it? probably... but i feel so alone in my capacity to feel and think so much... if i was less thoughtful, would i be less melancholy? easier to just find someone and settle? at times i feel like just settling... i've decided to not be so picky, to go for guys i wouldn't have given a second glance... go for the guys that seem to know how to treat a lady, would know how to treat me and appreciate everything i am... why does that feel like settling? the newest guy i'm dating doesn't seem to be able to stimulate me mentally... am i just being overly critical again? i don't know... i don't know if this'll work out... mostly i just want someone to help support me through this transitional state... of building myself back up and getting back out there on my own.. i am far more independent than a lot of ppl... yet i am used to a degree of independence that most ppl on this island never get... never really want... my friends have good intentions but they don't realize the caliber of guy i need to keep me in tuned, to keep me interested, to make me want to take that chance with a guy... i'm making friends of a different caliber working at a fast food joint... but i take it as a work in progress...